Benvenido a Lunes Nae Trous!

(A large pair of pants floats across the screen, then covered by a gigantic red circle with a line through it. The CSTLL logo appears)
In English where available!
Interior of the Cow Palace in San José.The two guys with sparklers and flare guns are now two Mexican guys with gigantic incense burners.
Note: Lunes Nae Trous is not going to be commented on by our regular announcers team. The entire thing will be subtitled.
All spelling mistakes are intentional; you'll understand why if you've ever seen the closed captioning on a wrestling card.

Welcome to the first edition of Lunes Nigh Troos. Mexico Unlimited has taken over to promote the Mexico Madness card in too weeks. Our first match will feature Kernel "Pops" Corn as he takes on Broadway Musical Man.
The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way towards the ring, from New York, New York, weighing in at 247 lbs., Broadway Musical Man!
(Broadway enters, singing "Luck be a Lady". He is dressed in a tux with top hat and walking stick. A small pop.)
But wait, its the Entertainment Industry on the CSTLL Monstron! What do they want?
Lester Leary: Broadway Musical Man! We've been enemies for a long, long time. Ever since you've entered we've been at each other's throats. You're living in the past, boy! Have you seen how crappy Broadway Musicals have become?
Broadway Musical Man: What are you talking about? Broadway is as glorious as it ever was!
I've got three words for you: Andrew Lloyd Webber. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat? What the hell is that?! And Rent: a play about Generation X'ers. Real glorious. Don't even get me started on "Stomp" and "Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk"! JACK!
(Broadway looks visibly depressed) Well, but, well, okay, Titanic! How about that! How about Chicago, huh? Broadway isn't doomed! It's not!
Titanic? That's so predictable - I mean, you know what happens at the end before you even watch it! And Chicago? Jazz? Give me lounge any day! JACK! Face it boy, Broadway is doomed and so are you. We're going to get you, and soon!
Fine, buddy, bring it on, I have allies you know.
Oh yeah, like who?
Like me.
It's Michael Wackson! He's ready to take on the Industry!
Next week, on whatever this program's going to be called then, Broadway and I are going to take you guys on and show you what REAL entertainment is all about! OOWW!
Well, can we get the match on already? Thank you. His opponent, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing 220 lbs., Colonel "Pops" Khorne!
(He enters to a heavy metal version of "Pop Goes the Weasel", still selling the popcorn he carries. Decent pop.)
***bell rings.
Khorne locks up with Wackson. Khorne applies his Finnishing maneuver, the "Jiffy Neckpop" swinging neckbreaker right off the bat! Cover: 1...2...3. That was quick. I suppose Lester Leery demoralized him and made him lose that fighting spirit. Oh well.
We've just received word that two new wrestlers have just signed with the STWF. One calls himself "Mr. Rage". The other calls himself "The California Crusher". In the weeks to come, we should be hearing more from them.
We'll be right back after this short break.

This episode of Lunes Nae Trous is brought to you by Corona Cerveza. If it has anything to do with Mexico, it's sponsored by Corona Cerveza!
(Note: This isn't really sponsored by Corona. I do not recommend that you buy Corona, or drink if you're underaged. It's just a satire on Mexican things, so lighten up already! Thank you.

Mexico Madness is just two weeks away, and this is your last chance to challenge for cards. Next week, I'm not accepting new entries. Some of you are still not signed up for a match! So get that keyboard moving!

The countdown to BILL is just three weeks. Perhaps the greatest wrestling force ever is coming to the STWF!
BILL. Coming soon to the STWF/CSTLL.

Alright, weir back. Our next match will feature the debut of Tony Starks as he takes on OddJobber.
Making his way towards the ring, from London, England, weighing 20 stone, 2 lbs., OddJobber!
(An acid rock version of the James Bond theme plays. OddJobber comes out to a huge pop! The "Free Joe Rain!" chant begins again. OddJobber is still wearing a bowler hat, sunglasses, ripped jeans and stained "Can I Have a Pancake?" T-shirt.)
And his opponent, from parts unknown, with his manager Mr.X, weighing 290 lbs., Tony Starks!
(Tony Starks wears black tights, with a black and silver mask, and a black/silver glitter robe. Mr.X also wears a mask.)
***bell rings.
OddJobber extends his hand. Tony Starks shakes it. Armdrag takedown by Starks. Armbar by Starks, but OddJobber grabs the rope. Starks with a waistlock, transforms it into a belly-to-back suplex. Starks now, takes OddJobber to the turnbuckle and gives 10 smashes. The crowd doesn't like it; I think they're rooting for OddJobber! OddJobber now with a hurricanrana, and follows up with a dragon suplex! The crowd is going absolutly bananas! The cover:1...2...Starks rolls over:1...2...OddJobber rolls back:1...kickout. Starks looks angry, well he would if we could see his face. Tony Starks with a DDT. Picks him up - twirls his arm in the air, I think he's signalling for his finisher, the "Starks Stunner" neckbreaker! Nails it! 1...2...3! Tony Starks wins! The crowd is booing him, and Mr.X goes on the mic and tells them they can all go to hell! Hmmm...looks like the making of a heel for Tony Starks, at least in this area. On to our final match this evening - DeRanged is going to take on ThatGuy in a steel cage. This should be exciting.
Making his way towards the ring, representing the Asylum Alliance, from parts unknown and weighing 276 1/2 lbs., ThatGuy!
("Insane in the Brain" by Cypress Hill plays. ThatGuy is wheeled to the ring by his wheelbarrow man, dumped in the cage, and the wheelbarrow man runs off. The crowd loves it! ThatGuy, no doubt, is one of the most popular wrestlers in the STWF.
And his opponent, from Edison, NJ, weighing 325 lbs., DeRanged!
("Black Sabbath" by Black Sabbath plays. DeRanged takes his time to get in the ring. The crowd boos him, but he just flips them off.)
***bell rings. The door is closed.
ThatGuy gives DeRanged a top-wristlock, but DeRanged counters with an armbar. ThatGuy gives DeRanged a slingshot into the bars. My, that was intense. DeRanged dropkicks ThatGuy and starts to climb the cage.ThatGuy slams himself into that side of the cage, causing DeRanged to fall. ThatGuy catches him and applies a backbreaker. Now ThatGuy tries to climb the cage. DeRanged starts tugging at ThatGuy's feet, but only succeeds in removing the boot. The crowd starts cheering ThatGuy on. DeRanged climbs up too, and clobbers ThatGuy with the boot. ThatGuy on the floor, and DeRanged from halfway up the cage, gives an elbowdrop. He's going for the Deathgrip! DeRanged puts his hand around ThatGuy's neck - I guess he forgot ThatGuy's finisher! ThatGuy wastes no time in applying the Hideous Finger Bite! DeRanged struggling to break free of the bite, but can't! He kicks ThatGuy, but to no avail! Will DeRanged risk losing his finger to ThatGuy just to win a non-title match? NO! DeRanged submits! But what's ThatGuy doing? He's calling the Asylum Alliance! Bohemoth sets up a table...ThatGuy pulls DeRanged by the hair up to the top of the cage, and throws him down! Bohemoth and the Freaks now wailing away on DeRanged. But wait...he's getting that look in his eye...Bohemoth and the Freaks are begging off! DeRanged starts chokeslamming the Asylum Alliance! But here comes Pedro Chang, and we have to go! We're sorry!
Next week, we'll have a few surprise matches, and some big rumbles! Captain Twilight is off this week, so no Twilight Zone! But wait, I've just received word that ThatGuy and DeRanged will meet in two weeks at Mexico Madness! Untill next week, keep you're pants off!

(c) Consejo Stereotypicos de Lucha Libre/Stereo Type Wrestling Federation 1997