Monday Nae Trous #24
En español donde sea disponible!
(The two pyro guys with the sparklers and flare guns start the show. In front of them are three gold-coloured vessels:
One is small, with a dent in it; one is larger, and has a light shooting out of it; and the third is smaller but more ornate.
So THAT'S where they went!
Welcome everyone to Monday Nae Trous! I'm Angus "Vince" McMadden. I'd like to introduce my ever-present associates...
I'm Captain Twilight. Greetings to all.
'Sup, cool cats, I's be Jamal Tupac Mustafa.
Thank you. And WE'RE NOT WEARING PANTS. Ugh, must we say that every week?
Well, that guy with the cattle prod shows up if we don't.
Good point. A great show for you tonight, and since we're one week away from Worst Case Scenario, it promises to be the BEST NAE TROUS EVER!
Someone's been hanging around Tony Schiavone!
Let's kick things off right. The Keeper, in a handicap match, will square off against BOTH Warrior Gods.
Wow. Three huge guys in da ring, Sum'n's gotta give. Here's Announcer Lad in da ring.
The following handicap contest is set for one fall. Making their way towards the ring, led by the Mighty Odin, from Asgard,
the current STWF Tag Team Champions, Thor and Tyr, THE WARRIOR GODS!
("Devil in the Kitchen" by Ashley MacIsaac plays. Less pop than usual.)
And their opponent...
(The lights go out. They come back on, and the Keeper is in the ring, holding his gem-tipped wand, Messenger Boy is at his side, pointing at him.)
The Warrior Gods are receiving less respect than usual, for their lack of title defense. I wouldn't blame them however, the Indestructibles are heating up the tag
scene like nobody's business.
I'm inclined to agree.
Thor will start against the Keeper. The Keeper locks up. A vertical suplex right away by the Keeper. A leglock submission follows...
Thor reaches the ropes. The Keeper unrelenting, goes for a camel clutch. Thor once again struggles to reach the ropes.
The Keeper showing more technical ability than I ever imagined!
Keeper goes back to his old self, with a big boot to Thor's midsection. Now he whips Thor to the ropes, clothesline. Thor goes over. He runs to Odin's side...
What a chicken! Odin ain't much help.
The tag to Tyr is made. The one-armed warrior goes in for a European stump-uppercut. The Keeper doesn't look impressed. Powerbomb by the Keeper!
The cover: 1...2...no. Tyr with a headbutt. The Keeper reels a bit. Tyr with a shoulderblock and the Keeper drops. Tyr with the pin: 1...Keeper rolls it over: 1...2...kickout.
The Keeper holding his own against the two big men, both champions.
The Keeper whips Tyr into Thor's corner, and another tag is made. Thor charges, Keeper moves aside, Thor crashes into the turnbuckle. Keeper with an avalanche!
And I think it's time for the Darkness! Keeper climbing the buckle...Odin acts quick and attacks Messenger Boy!
Good strategy on the part of Odin. We all know how Keeper reacts when you mess with the Boy.
Keeper ignoring it right now...the Darkness is felt by Thor, one, two, three. He wins, but NOW he attacks Odin!
Odin going for the ride...chokeslam right onto some concrete that Messenger Boy exposed. He might need some medical attention.
Oh well, we have to go on to a semi-final match for the ICCTINACBBIC tournament. Pimp of the Year, our eighth seed who upset Col. "Pops" Khorne, will face Stealth Bomber,
our injury-riddled friend. Whoever advances here will have one tough time at WCS. Cap, your pick.
I'm going with Stealth Bomber. Injured or no, he's got more experience in his little finger, than the Pimp in his whole body.
Gotta be da Pimp o' da Year, fo' no other reason than he got da skills ta pay da bills.
Um...interesting reasoning. Stealth Bomber is in the ring, Kandi at ringside, and...
His opponent, from New York City and accompanied by the Entourage, weighing 244 lbs., PIMP OF THE YEAR!
("Jungle Boogie" by Kool and the Gang plays. He struts out to an ever-increasing crowd response.)
This guy gets more popular with every appearance! The ref checking both men's boots...
Pimp of the Year asks for a test-o'-strength. The crowd is actually telling Stealth Bomber to go for it! But Kandi doesn't. Bomber gives the crowd what they want...
And pays for it. Bomber goes down harder than Monica Lewinsky.
I'm sorry, I don't understand the reference. Is she some female jobber?
In a manner of speaking.
Jamal, curb your tongue! We're going to lose advertising money if you keep that up. Stealth Bomber getting to his feet, Pimp with a dropkick and runs right over for a mid-air DDT.
Impressive maneuver on the part of PotY. I hope Sweet Candy Andy is watching! Stealth Bomber crawls between the Pimp's legs, and back brain kick. Reverse chinlock by Bomber.
BORING! Get to da good stuff. When do we get ta see some juicin'?
Heart-Breaking Hell was three weeks ago. If you didn't get enough then, tough.
Bomber breaks the chinlock just now. Goes to the middle rope for a cross-body. Nice landing...on the mat. Pimp covers: 1...2...kickout.
Bomber back up, German suplex! He's not letting go. Pimp gets ANOTHER German suplex...Bomber going for a third, but Loc Dog hits the ring and stops Bomber cold. Luckily, the ref was distracted when Mona Money showed some leg.
I'll never get the fact that refs are distracted so easily.
I'm sorry, what? I was lookin' at Mona.
Boys, focus, please! Pimp in control now. Irish-whip by Pimp. Big elbow on the way back. Bomber drops. Elbowdrop by PotY. The cover: 1...2...shoulder up.
Pimp with a big kick to Stealth Bomber's back. Bomber now hobbling, with one hand on his back.
Oh dear, it looks like he aggravated his injury.
And don't think Pimp of the Year didn't notice. Pimp really smashing that back with the double-axhandles. Now...a backbreaker! Bomber yells in pain.
Pimp covers: 1...2...and the Upset Kid is in the finals!
Here is your winner, PIMP OF THE YEAR!
That's amazing. Could the Pimp actually win the belt with such little experience?
Stranger things have happened.
We'll be right back after this.
Worst Case Scenario is just one week away! We've all heard about the nastiness of the main event: All five stables, with five men each,
in an over-the-cage elimination match! And of course, our little "enhancers" around the cage. But how about that undercard? The Bomb Match between
the Executioner and Ironman for the STWF Heavyweight Belt? That's a pretty bad scenario in itself! Or Gruff vs. Zebulon? These boys are at each other's throats, and BOTH ANIMALS ARE LEGAL!
Or the Indestructibles vs. the Warrior Gods? Will the Rogue's new protégés continue their devastation of the competition? Or the finals of the ICCTINACBBIC belt tournament?
Pimp of the Year will face the winner of Wackson vs. Chang, determined tonight! Or the Inevitables vs. the Vegas Connection? A superior grudge match, will Larry Lowbrow be laughing, or will Lester Leary be singing
the blues? Order In Your Face: Worst Case Scenario TODAY!
Tonight's episode of Monday Nae Trous has been brought to you by Geek Depot Techie Supplies. Here at Geek Depot, we don't need fancy advertising to get your business. Sure, we like Dilbert and all,
but will that nerd really make you want to buy a printer? We think not! Buy $75 or more worth of merchandise, and get a free South Park screen saver! Now THOSE kids will make you want to buy a printer!
Or something like that. So come on down to Geek Depot. "Geek" isn't an insult anymore, it's a state of mind!
Something about those guys in that last commercial...
Who, Bait and Switch, the Techie Salesmen from Hell? Yeah, they used to wrestle here.
Now that the commercials are over, we're ready to get started! Michael Wackson faces "The Chinese Spic" Pedro Chang.
Both men lock up. Wackson with an armbar. Chang tapping his shoulder, and Chang tosses Wackson over his shoulder. Chang gets up and attempts a DDT, but Wackson frees himself from the grasp.
Wackson with a kneelift. And another one! Snapmare takeover by Wackson. Sitting sleeperhold now applied on Pedro Chang.
Yeah, I share Chang's sentiments. I sure could use a nap right now, seeing all this boredom in da ring.
The arm is raised once...down. Twice....down. For the third time...it stays in the air, and Chang gets up, elbow to Wackson's gut, neckbreaker by Chang. The cover: 1...kickout.
Wackson chops Chang. Wackson tries again, but Chang ducks, and Wackson accidentally slaps Pedro in the face! The King of Pop is begging off bigtime, and I don't blame him. The Chinese Spic unloads on Wackson!
Wackson's head is snapping back and forth with each blow. His arms are now pinwheeling...Pedro with one finger pushes Michael, and Wackson topples like a house of cards. The cover: 1...2...no.
But wait...that's Tortilla Tito coming to ringside. I believe he has some unfinished business with Michael Wackson. He's got some brass knuckles. He gets up on the ring apron, but the ref doesn't pay it any mind.
Chang sees it, and Irish whips Wackson in Tito's direction. Tito kisses the knuckles and winds up...but Michael reverses it, and Pedro Chang goes sailing right into the knuckles! Wackson with the roll-up...1...2...3!
Tortilla Tito has unwillingly helped his foe advance to the finals!
I think Tortilla Tito will now think twice to interfere when so much is at stake.
Absolutely. So Michael Wackson and Pimp of the Year face off for the ICCTINACBBIC belt at Worst Case Scenario!
All men are heading back to the locker room.
("Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin plays)
And here comes the Executioner, mic in hand.
Executioner: IRONMAN! I can't wait until Worst Case Scenario. Get out here, double time, so I can show everyone here who should be the STWF champ, and why I'm the NWF champ.
What is it with these stupid cross-promotions?
I heard that. And I'll promote who I please, when I please. Got it?
Hey V, we should change these mics. I don't think the wrestlers should hear what we have to say.
So where are you, chump? Come on!
There's IRONMAN on the Monstron.
Ironman: You'll have to wait. I don't have to do anything you say. Why? Because this belt around my waist says so.
The NWF belt is nothing. And I've held more belts than you could ever imagine. We'll meet next week, at which time I'll be more than happy to smack you into the next Friday Friday Friday card.
Executioner: Is that a fact? I think you're just chicken that I could kick your <-BLEEP-> right here, right now!
Ironman: Oh, that's it!
Looks like we have a match about to happen! Here comes Ironman now.
The Right Hand Man is stopping him. He says this match isn't sanctioned, and won't happen. Ironman shoves him aside and charges the ring anyways. He's not even dressed to fight,
he's got his jeans on!
Executioner had a little surprise. His trusty crobar is ready for action! He swings and misses. Ironman grabs the crobar and connects right on Executioner's head, and the crowd goes wild!
Ironman now clips Exec's leg with it. Oh no, how will this affect Executioner's performance at Worst Case Scenario?
Executioner asked for it. He told Ironman to come down, and should have expected the champ to fight back.
We're out of time for this week. On Friday, Bohemoth will battle the Keeper for the North American belt, and much more!
For Captain Twilight and Jamal Tupac Mustafa, I'm Angus "Vince" McMadden saying, keep your pants off!
(c) 1998 Stereo Type Wrestling Federation/Consejo Stereotypicos de Lucha Libre