(The standard Friday Friday Friday intro plays. As the lights come up on
the announcer's table, it is plain to the viewer that these are not Angus
McMadden or Jamal Tupac Mustafa. These are, in fact, Howie Dooley and Lane
Gossett, late of the now defunct
PeWF. The normal wimpy pyrotechnics of the STWF are happening in the
background, but the camera's attention is focused on these strange
men.)
Howie: Hello, STWF fans! As you may have noticed, we are not Angus
McMadden or Jamal Tupac Mustafa...
Lane: They could have read the expository text there, Howie.
No, fans, Angus and Jamal had a minor disagreement, shall we say, with
Der Kommissaar over salary, and since he's such a big NBA fan, he's
instituted a lockout. Since myself and Lane were available, we nimbly
stepped in.
It's not like we want to be scabs or anything, but we've been out of work ever since the PeWF folded.
Let's just say the PeWF was nice when it lasted, but Der Kommissaar at his
most negligent couldn't even compare to the scarcity of our cards near the
end.
]]]Who you callin' NEGLIGENT?! I think SOMEBODY needs
to know his role. End transmission![[[
What the hell? Anyway, I'm sure the PeWF staff did all they could, but
we're here in the STWF now, Lane.
We're scabs, Howie. Face it. I wouldn't even be here if not for
that long term contract I'm locked into. Tell the viewers how you're
forcing me to clean up your front yard for pennies an hour now.
Look, Lane. I explained this. I called Eric Bischoff, and he said that it
was a perfectly acceptable way to treat your employees in this
business.
I hope my lawyer is watching. Manny! You've got to
get me out of this!
Anyway, we've got a jam-packed night of wrestling for you tonight
as the Techie Salesmen from Hell take on Nik at Nyte, the Vegas
Connection takes on Rhythm and Blues, B.F. Sack takes on Prisoner X...
Is B.F. Sack the champion around here?
No. While he made a great showing last Monday on Nae Trous, he failed to
regain his belt. Anyway, in the second half of our double main event, the
Asylum Alliance's Bohemoth takes on Tyrone Mayhem.
I thought our PeWF wrestlers were weird.
Anyway, let's head down to Stan...
Stan?! What is our old PeWF announcer doing
here?!
Same as us. All the STWF announcing crew was locked out of tonight's
show.
Stan: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!! (The crowd is complacent as they have
absolutely *no* idea who this guy is.) This is our first match of the
evening! (A rap remix of "Love is all around" starts up and the fans are
divided in reaction.) accompanied by Rimshot and Mr. Fred, representing
the Entertainment Industry.... weighing in at a total combined weight of
520 pounds.... and hailing from T.V. Land... here are Darren #3, and
Rodney Ricardo, NIK AT NYTE!
(Nik at Nyte make their way down to the ring with their entourage.)
Stan: AND THEIR OPPONENTS... (the five note "Intel Inside" jingle begins
repeating over and over again. The audience boos rabidly half from hatred
of this team, and half due to being wildly annoyed by this "music")
...representing the Tri Lambda stable, and
accompanied by the Pencil-Necked Geek and Edwina... weighing in at a
total combined weight of 420 pounds.... and hailing from Silicon Valley,
in the Sixth Circle of Hell, here are Bait and Switch, the TECHIE SALESMEN
FROM HELL!!!!!!
The Tri-Lambda stable looking confident as they make their way to ringside.
Hey Lane, this is a pretty even matchup.
How do you figure, Howie?
Well, one team has someone who can't run and someone who looks like a
horse in their corner.... and Nik at Nyte has Rimshot and Mr. Fred!
Hehehe!
You better hope that the Tri Lambda's don't hear that
you said that.
***DING***DING***DING***
Is that the PeWF's bell?
Oh, all bells sound the same. It looks like Rodney Ricardo is
going to start off in there with Bait. The Nik at Nyte team is the larger
of the two here. We've got a collar and elbow tie-up as Rodney and Bait
jockey for position. Now if Rodney is winning, it's schedule position,
and if Bait is winning, it's market position.
Lane: Alright, Howie. Anyway, Bait wrenching it around to an armbar, and
pulling on it, trying to work on that right shoulder. Tags in Switch and
Switch comes off the top rope with an axehandle. Mind you, neither Bait
nor Switch use any arm submission moves, but this is some good wrestling
strategy anyway.
Switch showing some aggressiveness here with some kicks to the chest.
Rodney rakes the retinas, and runs right to rescue in the form of tagging
in Darren #3. Darren hops over the ropes and clubs Switch with some
vicious rights. Darren with a whip into the ropes... no, Switch has
reversed it. Darren into the ropes, and he's tripped by the Pencil-Necked
Geek!
...and the referee begins his civics lecture to the Geek on why it's not
nice to do that. In the meantime, Edwina is choking out Darren as Bait
and Switch keep Rodney and the Nik's contingent occupied. Switch leaves
the ring, as Bait slaps his hands together to pointlessly cheat so they
can build heel heat. Bait with a scoop and a slam on Darren, then tags
Switch again, and slingshots him into the ring on top of Darren! We have
a 2 count.
I thought he got him.
Howie, remember what we discussed before the show?
Yes, if I get too much like Vince McMahon, you can slap me. (sigh)
Anyway, Darren wants to tag, but Switch clubs Rodney to the floor, then
picks up the woozy Darren, and... he's setting up something here...
standing elevator slide! I think he calls that the Millennium Crash!
Switch covers, Bait comes in to head off Rodney, and 1.... 2.... 3!!!!!!
The Techie Salesmen from Hell win this one! I think they were sending a
message to Beast and Beast Light here as they took this one fairly
easily, despite their less than impressive stature. We'll be right
back.
New for Playstation and N64! STWF Monday Nae Trous, the game! Due out
August 31st, 2089... or just head to
"http://www.ecf.toronto.edu/~clivio/stwf.html" to play on the
Internet!
That was a pointless commercial. If people are
seeing this card, they already know about the STWF! Let's just go to our
next match.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a tag team attraction scheduled for one
fall.... Introducing first... ("Viva Las Vegas" by Lester Leary kicks up
and the fans boo.) Here are the Mighty Bastard Championship Psycho
Driver tag team champions... accompanied by Rimshot, and representing
the Entertainment Industry... here are Lester Leary... and Larry
Lowbrow.... THE VEGAS CONNECTION!!!!
It's a banner night here for the Entertainment Industry. Let's hope they
have better luck in this match.
And their opponents... ("Dancing in the Streets" by Martha and the
Vandelas starts up and the fans are ambivalent) ...accompanied by the
Rogue, and Representing the Rogue's Gallery... weighing in at a total
combined weight of 600 pounds even, here are Elwood P. Rhythm, and C.P.
Blues, RHYTHM AND BLUES!
Have the Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine been informed?
Yes, and Greg, predictably, is now suing us.
Strangely, not the STWF, just us. Anyway, I'm just surprised they don't
have Alex Wright and Disco Inferno as special guest referees!
***DING***DING***DING***
Alright, we have Leary starting things off in here against Blues. We
have a lockup, and Blues reverses into a drop toehold. Leary springs back
up. Both men are moving around the ring as we lock up again. Blues is
pushed back into the ropes and the referee calls for the break. Back in
the center of the ring, and another lockup. Blues with a wristbar, but
Leary with an eyerake, then a body slam. He tags out to Lowbrow.
Lowbrow in with an armbar and some vicious kicks to
Blues' chest. He yanks Blues down and applies a Fujiwara armbar. The
referee checks for the submission... but no dice, if you'll pardon the
pun. Blues manages to reach around and swat Lowbrow away and then tags in
Rhythm.
Rhythm hops in the ring, and floors Lowbrow with a vicious right. Leary
runs in and gets a right of his own. Here's a body slam for Lowbrow, and
a matching one for Leary. Rhythm is a house of fire in there! Rhythm to
the ropes, and Rimshot trips him up! He must have wheeled over there.
Rhythm reaches up and starts pulling Rimshot into the ring as the referee
tries to regain control.
Yeah, like that's going to happen. Lowbrow is up
now and he goes into the ropes and the Rogue trips him, and the Rogue
starts getting pulled into the ring! Meanwhile, Leary and Blues are
fighting it out in the middle of the ring. No, they're fighting near the
ring ropes. No, they're falling over the ring ropes. They're fighting on
the floor.
Back in the ring, Elwood Rhythm is holding the legless Rimshot over his
head. Lowbrow doesn't see it, and tries to whip the Rogue into the
corner. Rhythm turns around and accidentally nails the Rogue... with
Rimshot! Unbelievable!
***DING***DING***DING***
Here is your official decision, the referee has disqualified both
teams... basically for extreme silliness... the official result of this
bout.... a double disqualification!
(This decision does not bode well with the fans, who begin tossing
garbage into the ring. In the meantime, Black Jack Dealer, Presto
Cadabra, Gruff, Nik at Nyte, Colonel "Pops" Khorne, Très Sheik, and
the Aboriginals run in, as the entirety of the Entertainment Industry
begins brawling with the entirety of the Rogue's Gallery, although at
times, the Vegas Connection and Nik At Nyte seem to be going at each
other. The zebra brigade runs in and the chicken STWF producers focus on
crowd shots while the brawl is cleared out.)
OK, next we have a special treat for you, fans. We have a debut match of
an up and comer!
The fans think that's a special treat rather than
getting to our double main event?
Stan: This is a special surprise attraction (the fans perceive that this
means "squash match" and begin booing) Already in the ring, from... oh
who cares, it's just Hammond Egger. (Egger begins raising his arms trying
to pump up the audience and get them behind him. In this, he utterly
fails.)
And, his opponent ("Hail to the Chief" starts up and the fans are truly
confused. Nearly no reaction.)... from the mental health system of
America, here is Identity Crisis Man!
(ICM comes out. He has a wireless microphone. He is wearing a three piece
suit, with a sock on one hand. It's hard to tell if he's missing a sock
on his foot.)
ICM: No, no, no. You have it all wrong! I'm not the Identity Crisis Man,
I'm actually the President of the United States. (ICM has reached the
ring and is approaching Hammond Egger, who backs off nervously.) And,
this (he holds up his hand with the sock on it), is Bob, head of my
Secret Service. He protects me as long as he doesn't get a subpoena. He
protects me, young man, from people trying to harm me... (ICM levels
Egger with the sock hand. Egger, like the good little jabrone he is,
falls down.)
]]]Alright, I think that's just enough of that
idiotic "j-word". At least until I find out how to properly spell it. End
transmission![[[
Twice in one day? Anyway... Whoa! Egger just went down like a sack of
potatoes. That sock has to be loaded!
***DING***DING***DING***
I don't believe this! They're starting the match! The sock covers Egger,
trying to keep him from attacking... the President... the referee is
counting.... 1.... 2....3!!!!!!
***DING***DING***DING***
The winner of the match, The Identity Crisis Man! ("Hail to the Chief"
begins to play again.)
ICM: No, I told you! I'm the...
Ref: I need to check the sock.
ICM: No, you can't! No! Bob!
(ICM drops the microphone, and rushes away in terror clutching his
sock.)
A confusing victory for Identity-Crisis Man here in his demo. Hey,
I've just been handed something. It's an update sheet for what's happened
around here lately.
You mean we're halfway through the show, and they've just *now* given us
the script? Oy vey.
Anyway, we'll be right back.
Catch the valiant history of the PeWF at Dave's Wrestling Humor
Repository, located
here.
We're back, and our commentary should be a bit more insightful now. In
case anyone's wondering, we also ended up with the PeWF's sound guy
tonight, and that's a good thing.
Our next match here is yet another chapter in the ongoing rivalry
between the Inner Circle and the Asylum Alliance. Now it's kind of
interesting, as one Wrestler Smurf is yet to decide whether or not to
join the Alliance.
Yes, Wrestler Smurf was actually one of the contenders back in the PeWF,
where he placed fourth in the preliminary title tournament and was number
one contender to the PeWF International belt. But here, in the STWF, he's
gone on to even bigger success as the North American champion. However,
unlike some wrestling commentators, I prefer to call the match that's
happening in the ring. So, let's go down to Stan.
Our next match is scheduled for one fall, and is the first half of our
double main event tonight. Introducing first... ("Regulate" by Warren G
starts up and the fans begin to cheer)... representing the Inner Circle,
and accompanied to the ring by The Tiger... weighing in at 200 pounds
even and hailing from "None of yo' da..." ahem... I mean parts unknown,
yeah, that's it, here is TYRONE MAYHEM!!!!!
Tyrone's getting a pretty good pop here, even though he hasn't
experienced much success here in the STWF. He's got a pretty tough row to
hoe here against former North American champion, and current Heavyweight
contender, Bohemoth.
And his opponent... ("In the Hall of the Mountain
King" starts up and the fans are neutral, though loud in reaction)...
representing the Asylum Alliance, and accompanied to the ring by
ThatGuy... weight in at 490 pounds, and hailing from Charleston, West
Virginia... here is Bohemoth!!!!!
ThatGuy taking the mike from Stan...
YOU'RE NOT SAFE!!!!!!!!!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!!!!!!!!
ThatGuy getting a good crowd pop for that. I don't
know what the bookers were thinking here. Mayhem is less than half the
size of Bohemoth. This may be an impossible task for the man who the
dressing room has been calling "Tough Luck Tyrone".
Hey, the Monstron just flickered on! It's Iceberg, Stalker and Carnage,
the Total Annihilation Squad!
Stalker: Hey, ThatGuy! I thought we were doing our challenge match
tonight, not Monday.
I can't help Der Kommissaar's scheduling. Sally's
talking to the nice doctors right now, and BILL is home on personal
business tonight.
Carnage: We don't care! We want our six-man tag!
Tell you what. Tonight, I can give you Mira Maniac and two mystery
partners, if you're so set on suicide. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Iceberg: Fine!
The TAS seems satisfied with that as Bohemoth just stares at Mayhem
across the ring.
***DING***DING***DING***
Bohemoth looking at the audience. He sees Wrestler Smurf sitting there!
Wrestler Smurf has been out in the audience for a couple weeks now, ever
since winning the North American Title from the Tiger, and there he sits
with the belt, his two Smurfette dolls and his new "He's Smurfcore!"
T-Shirt.
Bohemoth points at him, and Tyrone charges, and is caught with a vicious
palm thrust by the larger man. Bohemoth reaches for Tyrone, but Tyrone
goes for the ropes.... and comes back with a dropkick to the knee!
Bohemoth goes down and Tyrone begins laying in some vicious stomps and
elbowdrops.
Bohemoth catches a foot and begins to get up... he's
to a standing position now and Mayhem with a nice enziguri! This is what
Mayhem has to do, use his quickness and keep the big man down.
Lane, if a man goes down, doesn't that necessarily slow the tempo of the
match, and thus you have just given Tyrone conflicting objectives?
Howie, shut up. Besides, Tyrone can't hear us anyway.
Tyrone: Yes, I can, you idiots! You're less than six feet away from me!
And I don't need no advice from you either.
Oops. Anyway, Tyrone goes back to work on the
big man... there's some nice forearm strikes to the back of the neck of
Bohemoth... Bohemoth still stirring... Tiger on the outside is leading
the audience in a Tyrone chant... Mayhem goes to the ropes... Bohemoth
is up... Mayhem with a devastating dropkick!
Mayhem is celebrating, as Bohemoth... I DO NOT BELIEVE IT! BOHEMOTH
NIPPED UP! A 490 POUND MAN NIPPED UP! Incredible! Bohemoth grabs Mayhem's
throat, and chokeslam! Bohemoth grabs an arm, and applies an arm-bar.
Tyrone gets to the ropes and the ref forces a break.
Tyrone tries to get some advantage back here, as he
whips Bohemoth into the ropes, nope, reversal. ThatGuy trips up Mayhem!
That's it! The Tiger just hopped in the ring and is slugging it out with
Bohemoth as ThatGuy executes the Horrendous Finger Bite on Mayhem! Here
comes Milwaukee's Best, Beast and Beast Light... now here comes the
Circus Freaks, Dizzy Desi and Sasquatch! The two teams are fighting in
the middle of the ring! The ref is calling for the bell!
***DING***DING***DING***
Who cares about the bell? Here comes the Mira Maniac! He hops in the ring
just as Prisoner X has now come out and is rushing to the ring! They're
fighting it out... here comes B.F. Sack slowly walking to the ring!
In the meantime, the Circus Freaks, Milwaukee's Best, Tyrone Mayhem and
Bohemoth are brawling on the floor. Mira Maniac and ThatGuy are in the
ring with The Tiger and Prisoner X. B.F. Sack is still taking his sweet
time getting in this fight! He might not want to help his opponent
tonight, Prisoner X!
Wrestler Smurf just jumped the crowd barrier and has hopped in the
ring! He rips off his "He's Smurfcore" T-Shirt to reveal... (the audience
boos) an Asylum Alliance shirt! Wrestler Smurf has decided! He is in the
Alliance! No, wait, a clothesline for the Mira Maniac!
That clothesline seemed awfully soft. Wrestler Smurf rips off his Asylum
Alliance T-Shirt to reveal.... AN INNER CIRCLE T-SHIRT!!! What a swerve!
Smurf has joined the Inner Circle! He's now directing The Tiger and
Prisoner X to attack ThatGuy, but wait a second...
He's ripping off the Inner Circle Shirt to reveal... ANOTHER ASYLUM
ALLIANCE T-SHIRT! IT'S A TRICK! Wrestler Smurf slaps the "La La La La La
La!" on Prisoner X, and we've seen that move many times, Lane!
Lane: Indeed we have! B.F. Sack is still nowhere near the fighting! He's
retying his boot, for heaven's sake! Mira Maniac springs back up from
that "devastating clothesline" and is attacking The Tiger while ThatGuy
executes the Finger Bite on Tiger as well. Now I get to yell "Oh my God,
the carnage!" So here goes... OH MY GOD, THE CARNAGE!!!!!
Hey, I wanted to yell it! The referees come down and start escorting the
Asylum Alliance members out. Wrestler Smurf finally releases the hold on
Prisoner X, how will this affect Prisoner X's chances in the his match
against B.F. Sack, which is next? And why didn't B.F. Sack ever get near
the ring?
The referee's decision in this bout: A double disqualification!!
Lane: Who cares, Stan? What about Wrestler Smurf? What happened when he
made the now infamous "tease" interview, angering many STWF fans? Did he
just get bored in the dark and walk off? And just what was with that
brilliantly pointless surprise? Was that his idea, or ThatGuy's, or maybe
even the Mira Maniac's?
("Hell's Bells" by AC/DC starts up.)
Oh, no. They're starting up Prisoner X's music, but he's already laying
in the middle of the ring. But someone's coming out, it's the prison
guards!
Where were they before?
This match is schedule for one fall.... um... already in the ring...
representing the Inner Circle.... and weighing in at 290 pounds,
hailing from New York City.... here is.... PRISONER X!!!!!
The rest of the Inner Circle is being escorted out, except for B.F. Sack
who is still in the middle of the aisle! The rest of the Circle is being
escorted past him.
Tiger: What's wrong with you, Sack?!
And his opponent.... um, already in the aisle... ("Hit Me With Your Best
Shot" by Pat Benatar starts up, and Stan trails off confused.)
(The Monstron lights up, it's PunkMe PayMe.)
PunkMe: Hey, Hackysack! I'm still here! Why won't you talk to me?
Aren't we friends anymore? WHAT ABOUT ME, SACK?! WHAT ABOUT PUNKME
PAYME?!?!??!? (PunkMe laughs his fool head off, as the screen fades out,
and the music changes to the theme from "Sanford and Son".)
Um... his opponent! Also representing the Inner Circle... and weighing
in at 282 pounds, here is the former STWF World Heavyweight Champion.....
B.F. SACK!!!!
Sack hops in the ring. Normally, I would expect this
to be a fairly even bout, but Prisoner X was locked in the "La La La La La
La" for over a minute! He may have a separated left shoulder here, and
Sack's finisher is an armbar!
***DING***DING***DING***
There's the bell, Prisoner X is up, but his left arm is just hanging like
a piece of meat! No motion from it at all! Prisoner X tries a right,
but Sack just moves around to X's left, he's just playing with the
incarcerated one!
This is sad. Sack catches the left arm and begins
yanking on it! Prisoner X is screaming in pain! He grabs the ropes and the
referee calls for the break.
Prisoner X goes out to the middle of the ring again, and Sack pulls him
down by the injured arm, and begins applying the Domino Effect! Prisoner
X has to grab the ropes again. Sack really taking advantage of the injured
arm here, showing he'll do whatever it takes to win, and maybe sending a
message to Death, even though we thought they made their peace on
Monday.
Out in the middle of the ring again, and down goes
Prisoner X again thanks to a yank on the injured arm. Sack goes for the
Domino Effect again and X is nowhere near the ropes. X isn't giving up,
but the ref is calling for the bell, and it's about time...
***DING***DING***DING***
The referee has ruled that Prisoner X was no longer able to continue the
match, and thus awards the match to B.F. SACK!!!!! (The theme from
Sanford and Son plays, but now gets a mixed reaction.)
Wow. The prison guards are carrying Prisoner X out of there, and Sack has
a big smile on his face as he walks out. Now we've gotten an update from
our producers, and they've announced we have permission to run over, so
we will cover the surprise six-man tag match tonight. Let's get to it.
Ladies and gentlemen, this special six man attraction is scheduled for
one fall or T.V. Time remaining... ("Machinehead" by Bush starts up and
the fans have mixed reactions) at at a total combined weight of 1081
pounds, accompanied to the ring by Strep, here are Carnage, Iceberg and
the Stalker, the Total Annihilation Squad!
The TAS looks ready for this one. Remember, win, lose or draw tonight,
they have a similar match on Monday Nae Trous against the Maniac, BILL
and Sally-Sleepy Time.
And their opponents.... ("This Maniac's in Love With You" by Alice Cooper
plays, and again the fans have mixed reactions)... all represent the
Asylum Alliance and weigh in at a total combined weight of 1010 and 1/2
pounds! First off, from Hollywood, California... and accompanied to the
ring by ThatGuy, here is.... THE MIRA MANIAC!!!!!
The Mira Maniac comes out alone here, but
there's an awful lot of beef left to make up 1010 and 1/2
pounds.
His first partner.... ("The Smurf Dirge" starts up and the fans
boo)
I do NOT believe it!
Hailing from Smurf Village, here is the STWF North
American Champion, WRESTLER SMURF!!!!!
ThatGuy is taking Smurf's new membership to heart as he's putting him
right in there for the Asylum Alliance. He meets the Smurf halfway down
the aisle and escorts him into the ring...
...and the final partner... (no music starts up and
no one comes out. Stan looks confused, which is actually his normal
look)
No one is coming out as the third partner, ThatGuy runs back to the
dressing room. Is he going to put on his wrestler gear? Wait, what IS his
wrestler gear, anyway? I've looked through every last script, and not once
is his gear mentioned!
You really shouldn't waste your time looking to see what ThatGuy's
wearing.
***DING***DING***DING***
He'd better hurry, this match has started! The TAS sees an opportunity
here, and all three men jump Wrestler Smurf and Mira Maniac. Iceberg is
taking on the smaller Maniac, and Carnage and Stalker are ganging up on
Wrestler Smurf. Iceberg is stomping on the Mira Maniac while the Stalker
holds Wrestler Smurf, while Carnage pounds the Smurf with hellacious
rights.
These puns are getting worse, Howie.
(Suddenly, "In the Hall of the Mountain King" starts up, and the fans
collectively gasp, as ThatGuy cajoles Bohemoth to the ring.)
This is truly a marriage made in heck. The Mira
Maniac, Wrestler Smurf and Bohemoth on the same team? Bohemoth into the
ring and he throws out Iceberg, then clotheslines Carnage over the top
rope. Wrestler Smurf elbows away from the Stalker, and the Maniac
dropkicks him over the top rope. The Maniac celebrates as Bohemoth and
Wrestler Smurf stare at each other.
ThatGuy is trying to get the two separated as the referee takes this
opportunity to get the match under control. It looks like Wrestler Smurf
will start out against Carnage. Carnage with a headlock on the Smurf, but
Wrestler Smurf pushes him into the rope, and hits him with a Kitchen
Sink, the move that is, but the Smurf wouldn't be against using the
item.
Wrestler Smurf tags in Bohemoth and points to
Carnage... maybe saying, "OK, your turn." Bohemoth showing hardly any
signs of wear from his match against Tyrone Mayhem and the ensuing brawl
as he hits a bodyslam, then throws Carnage into the corner, indicating he
wants the man with the black underwear, Iceberg.
I'm glad somebody wants him. That man has to put some clothes on.
Bohemoth with a big boot for the charging Iceberg, he hit an Iceberg, and
for those keeping track at home, Bohemoth's heart will now go on and
on.
Stop that, Howie. I don't know if that man has a
heart. Iceberg is big, but he's a rookie. He's in there right now with
one of the veterans of the STWF in Bohemoth and is receiving a wrestling
lesson... wait a minute, low blow while the referee's back is turned, and
Iceberg may have some fight left in him after all. Iceberg attempts a
slam... nothing doing... so he turns it into a small package! 1.... 2....
kickout....
Iceberg tags in the Stalker, and he lays some boots into Bohemoth, then
runs over and punches Wrestler Smurf! Wrestler Smurf tries to get in the
ring as the referee, the Maniac and ThatGuy try to stop him. In the
opposite corner, the TAS are triple-teaming Bohemoth. He may be in
trouble here. It could be a career boost for any one of these three to
get a pin on Bohemoth.
There's a tag, and Carnage comes back while Iceberg
holds onto Bohemoth... Carnage off the ropes, trying for a dropkick, and
Bohemoth ducks out of the way! Iceberg falls to the floor as Bohemoth
rolls for his corner. Carnage grabs a foot, and Bohemoth catches him in
the face with the other one and tags in the Mira Maniac!
The Maniac hops in and picks Carnage up, turns him into a wristlock, and
clotheslines him. Wait a minute, here comes the Stalker back in, and
Wrestler Smurf comes into to meet him, and they're brawling. Iceberg
climbs back in and Bohemoth meets him! All six men are brawling in the
ring.
Wrestler Smurf with a whip, no reversed by the Stalker! Wrestler
Smurf into the corner, now Bohemoth with a reversed whip... and Iceberg
flies into Wrestler Smurf! Both men go to their knees.
In the middle of the ring, the Mira Maniac hits Carnage with The
Replacement Killer! The ref down to count... 1... 2.... wait a minute!
Wrestler Smurf staggers out and trips over the referee! He seems to be
going after Bohemoth! The ref is calling for the bell as ThatGuy hops in
the ring, and helps pull Wrestler Smurf back to the middle of the
ring!
The winners of the match.... as a result of a
disqualification..... THE TOTAL ANNIHILATION SQUAD!!!!
TAS wins the match by DQ, but Bohemoth and Wrestler
Smurf are staring at each other in the middle of the ring. I wish I could
make out what they're saying. Mira tries to take Bohemoth away and
ThatGuy tries to drag away Wrestler Smurf.... WHOA! Bohemoth just shoved
the Maniac down, and Wrestler Smurf did the same to ThatGuy!
Here come the Circus Freaks to help break them up, and finally, the two
are separated. Mira Maniac and Dizzy Desi lead Wrestler Smurf off as
ThatGuy waits until they're gone for he and Sasquatch to lead Bohemoth
off. Remember, fans, on the next Monday Nae Trous, you can see the
Alliance try to get revenge for this loss as the Mira Maniac, BILL and
Sally Sleepy-Time take on the Total Annihilation Squad.
Wow! What a night of action. I have to admit, this is a nice
job.
Angus: Yeah, we like it.
Jamal: Sho 'Nuff.
(Both the announcers turn to see that the regular STWF Friday Friday
Friday announcing crew has returned and they have chairs. Howie and Lane
make a run for it being pursued by Angus and Jamal. Some wisecracker in
the announcing booth is playing the theme from the Benny Hill show over
this. Fade out...)
©1998 Stereo Type Wrestling Federation/Consejo
Stereotypicos de Lucha Libre