{{The Meiger County Exhibition Hall is filled with smoke. Mistaking it for a strobe, one of the pyro guys set off a smoke bomb. After evacuating the building for no less than an hour, enough of the smoke finally clears, so the STWF fans may come back in and take their seats. The show is under way.}}
::cough:: Good evening, ladies and ::cough:: gentlemen... we had a little smoke problem at the top of the show, but everything seems fine now. We have a great show planned. I'm Angus "Vince" McMadden. Here with me, as always, is Jamal Tupac Mustafa.
Needless to say, we have a packed show, and are a little behind schedule, so let's get straight down to ringside for the action.
{{The crowd offers a quiet, yet relatively positive, reaction as the Standard Funeral March plays.}}
Our opening contest, scheduled for one fall, is with a twenty minute time limit. Currently coming down the ailse, hailing from the Flames of Hell, and weighing in at 327 lbs., CARNAGE!
Flames of Hell?
He prob'ly from Buttlick, Montana, or sumptin...
Hey, V... ain't he da one wit syphilis? Caught it from Jimmy Snuka, or sumptin?
No, Jamal. You're thinking of Superfly, who does, in fact, NOT have syphilis. That was revealed earlier this week. Superfly was originally set to debut on this program this evening, but was revealed at Unscented, thanks to Der Kommissaar's erratic booking. Superfly will be here next week, I think.
{{The Chorus of Death plays as Death staggers his way down the ailse, cursing and spilling beer all over the fans at rampside.}} And his opponent: hailing from Death Valley, weighing in at 310 lbs., the drunken one, DEATH!
The drunken one?
{{The crowd offers a loud chorus of boos as Death climbs into the ring, and collapses over the ropes.}} So many things at stake here, folks. Battle of the Dark Stereotypes. Battle of the top-rope piledrivers. Conspicuous by his absense, Carnage's manager... the tall, skinny, red-headed guy...
I calls 'im Red.
Maybe you should join Der Kommissaar's contest. "Name Carnage's Manager" is the name... it should be a lot of fun. Of course, if Carnage ends up with a manager named Strep or Syphilis, one would have to think it would be bad for his morale.
Red... I'm tellin ya... Red... or Curly...
Finally, things have gotten under way, here. Death and Carnage lock up. This feud inadvertantly started by BILL... a man we haven't seen in the ring in a long while. Death pushes Carnage into the ropes, and then collapses?! Oh, boy... this isn't good.

What's homeboy been drinkin'?
I couldn't even fathom a guess. Death gets back up, but is leveled by a scissor-kick from Carnage. Carnage on the offensive now... whips Death into the ropes, and kicks him on the rebound. Is it just me, or does Carnage look lost in the ring?
Nevermind. Death still standing... surprisingly. Carnage climbs the top turnbuckle, and goes for a flying body press. Death simply steps out of the way, and Carnage misses... flat on the canvas. Oooo, boy. That move was well scouted. Death falls on top of him, and begins pummeling him with lefts and rights... a flurry of fists. The referee is warning him, but Death does not comply. The count is started. 1... 2... 3... 4... Death steps back, and allows Carnage to regain his composure. Carnage stands, but is plowed right back over by a running clothesline. Death goes for the cover. 1... 2... no. Carnage up at two. I just thought of sumpthin, V. How is Death going to try for da Death Penalty, if he too drunk to climb da turnbuckles?
I... I don't know. Good question. Who are you to assume Death will get the opportunity? Carnage now with the standing side headlock on Death... drags Death to the mat, and grinds the hold. Smart maneuver... making his opponent carry his weight, putting all the pressure on the neck area. Excellent wear-down hold...
They jus' gettin' lazy on us.
Death... Oh my!! Death just spit something all in Carnage's face!!
::sniffs the air:: If I knows my liquor... it's Kahlua.
Death just spat that alcohol all in Carnage's face, and in his eyes! Why isn't the referee calling for the bell? Death with the rear waist-lock. German suplex!! 1... 2... 3! This one is over!
Here is your winner: Death!!
{{The crowd boos as Death takes a bottle of vodka and begins shoving it in Carnage's mouth.}} Oh, come on!! Someone needs to do something about this! Here comes the Stalker to Carnage's aid, and Death makes a quick escape. What a character this guy is!! We don't need his type here in the STWF! We're a family-oriented program!
Man, V... whatchoo been watchin'? Not the same thing I have, obviously...
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to apologize on the STWF's behalf for Death's actions... I'm certain no one here, in the back offices, condones such behavior, and he will more than likely be reprimanded.
Who are you kiddin'? He'll get a big ol' push 'cuz of this. This is the kind of thing the people like.
Moving right along, I apologize again, but we do have our next match to get to. Just a reminder... we have an AWESOME double main event tonight. In one contest, we have Bohemoth putting the North American Title on the line against both Tiger of the Inner Circle, and Wrestler Smurf in a Triangle Match. A lot could happen in this match-up, ladies and gentlemen... and you can't help but wonder... what part will the Mira Maniac play? On the one hand, I'm sure he's going to help his fellow Asylum partner in anyway he can... he's certainly got a score to settle with the Wrestler Smurf, after Smurf's attack this last Monday Nae Trous... and there's a bit of history between the Maniac and the Tiger, as well...
But if you remember, Maniac said he ain't gonna mess wit the Tiger anymore... sumpthin about 'mutual respect' or sumpthin.
Very true... but can anyone really trust the Maniac? He has one goal, and we all know what that is. But in the triangle match, we can't overlook the rest of the Asylum Alliance, sans Zebulon, and the Inner Circle... Something tells me this is going to be explosive... and when we talk about the Inner Circle, we have to talk about our other main event of the evening.
This is da one I'm waitin' fo...
Our tag team champions, The Milwaukee's Best, and Not Prisoner X, of the Inner Circle will team up with the World Champion, B.F. Sack, to take on members of the Entertainment Industry... Nik At Nyte, "Black" Jack Dealer, and Gruff. That's not all, however... it will be under Tag Elimination rules. When you lose, by either pinfall, submission, count-out, or disqualification, you go back to the dressing rooms, and the match continues... continues until one team is completely eliminated.
Pay-Per View quality matches right here on Friday Friday Friday. 'Bout time... we're sick of playin' second fiddle to Monday Nae Trous.
Of course, this is to make up for our pre-emption last week. They've finally got Carnage up and out of the ring... let's go down to Announcer Lad for our next introductions.
Our follow contest, scheduled for one fall, is with a twenty minute time limit.
{{The crowd offers no response as OddJobber makes his way down the ailse, and into the ring. No one even pays attention as Announcer Lad makes his introduction. Most of the fans make their way towards the concession stands or restrooms.}} And his opponent... {{The Generic Japanese Theme of Some Wrestler From Another Organization plays, but no one notices.}} He hails from Osaka, Kansai, Japan, and weighs in at 185 lbs. Lead to the ring by his manager, Sasuke, he is: Oni-San! {{The few people who are left in the crowd boo as the flag-bearing Sasuke leads Oni-San to the circled square.}} This should be a tremendous match-up. OddJobber is really coming into... hey... hey, Jamal. Where are you going?
V, I gotsta get sumpthin to eat and drink befo' the double main event. No one wants to see the squash match. Man, dis is intermission.
Well, folks, it looks like I'm flying solo for this one. Oni-San in the ring, now... the referee is going over the instructions. I don't see the point, because Sasuke is outside the ring, and Oni-San doesn't speak English... oh, well... regulations, I suppose. Hey... wait a minute, what's this? {{Suddenly, the yet-to-be-determined Inner Circle theme music blares over the loud speaker, and the IC comes out. Everyone rushes back to their seats, trampling the small and weak, to give a MONSTER pop. T-shirts and IC signs are raised, and all but the severely arthritic flash the various IC hand signs.}}
Now what? Well, apparently, now, the Inner Circle will enter the ring and... come on! This is uncalled for! We know the Inner Circle have been upset as of late with the way things are run around here, but there's a match going on. Hold on, they are coming this way! THE TIGER: Beast, will you do the honors.
Where's Jamal when I need him?
{{Beast removes the headset from McMadden's head, and "escorts" him off-camera.}}
THE TIGER: I'm here tonight to announce that we will no longer tolerate the screwjobs, set-ups, and behind the scenes backstabbing and brown-nosing that has marred Der Kommissaar's reign over this federation. We will no longer tolerate non-existent "contenders" to be ranked ahead of talented and dedicated workers like Wrestler Smurf, Tyrone Mayhem, and Mira Maniac.
{{Tyrone Mayhem puts on Jamal's headset.}}
TYRONE MAYHEM: But what can we do about it, yo? Da Kommisa is all-powerful.
THE TIGER: Well, we may not be able to DO anything about it, but we can at least get the word out each and every week about all the bullcrap that goes on. Now don't get me wrong; Der Kommissaar is a genius when it comes to creating gimmicks and running the business side of this company, but this is a notice to Der Kommissaar; from now on, kayfabe goes out the window. We'll be shootin' from the hip every week on "The Inner Sanctum," we...
TYRONE MAYHEM:It's, like, a talk segment o' sumpin'.
THE TIGER: Hey, Tyrone, how ya' doin'?
TYRONE MAYHEM: Pretty good, man. Who we got up next, yo?
THE TIGER: It's Oni-san taking on everyone's favorite stepping stone, OddJobber, but first I want to announce that we don't have a guest for the first edition of the Inner Sanctum, so if anybody wants to get themselves over with the fans, this is your chance. Let us know if you want to be guest numero uno. Hey, I'm looking forward to calling this next match, which is already underway, here... Oni-san with an enzuiguri!
TYRONE MAYHEM: Sheeee, here come Vince and Jamal with security.
THE TIGER: Well, since we're supposed to be a face stable, I guess we shouldn't pummel some innocent security guys.
TYRONE MAYHEM: Yeah, we got no beef with them, yo. Less' go.
{{The Inner Circle exits peacefully to a nice pop, smiling and waving to their fans. The Tiger gives the thumbs-up to McMadden and Jamal on his way out. Meanwhile, Oni-San has just finished off OddJobber with the Oni-Bomb. The Generic Japanese Theme Of Some Wrestler From Another Organization plays, as Vince and Jamal take their seats.}}
::sounding a little flustered::Well, that was certainly uncalled for! Who do they think they are? Bad mouthing the man to whom they owe everything! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! And now they get their own segment on FFF? What's next, their OWN SHOW?
Heh-heh. They ain't so bad, Vince, but I hope they don't get they own show - We runnin' out o' days o' the week!
And where were you? Here I was, all alone, staring down five men... where were you, tough guy?
I tolds ya... I had to get sumpthin to eat. Man, those soft pretzels is gooooood!!
Fans, I apologize... in all of the confusion, we missed what I'm sure was a great match. As you may or may not have caught, Oni-san defeated the veteran OddJobber with the Oni-bomb. A very impressing maneuver, indeed. The Pencil-Necked Geek better watch out. This man is one worthy of the ICCTINACBBIC belt. Oh next match is part of that awesome double main event we told you about earlier, fans. A triangle match for the North American Championship... Bohemoth faces the top two contenders, Wrestler Smurf, and the Tiger... who we just saw out here with the rest of the Inner Circle. As you can tell by the organ mix of the Smurf Theme Song, the Wrestler Smurf is on his way to the ring.
Our following contest, to take place under Triangle Match rules, is for the North American Championship!!
{{BIG pop.}} Currently making his way to the ring, allegedly hailing from Smurf Village, and weighing in at 325 lbs., Wrestler Smurf!!
{{The crowd boos, and showers him with garbage as he walks up the steel steps into the ring.}} Introducing our second combatant:
{{The crowd goes wild as Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" plays.}} He hails from Richmond, Virginia, and weighs in at 253 lbs. Representing the Inner Circle, we bring you: The TIIIIIIIGERRRRRRRR!!
{{The crowd continues to go wild as The Tiger emerges from the back, with Tyrone Mayhem by his side. Apparently, Not Prisoner X, and Milwaukee's Best are in the back preparing for their own match. The Tiger show-boats a little before climbing into thecircled square and staring down the Wrestler Smurf.}} Now, the champion!
{{Some boo, some cheer, but everyone is making noise. Grieg's "In The Hall Of The Mountain King" plays as Bohemoth walks out from the back, flanked by the Mira Maniac, and ThatGuy, with Vito Sorvino, and the Wheelbarrow Man in tow.}} He hails from Charleston, West Virginia, and weighs in at 490 lbs. Representing the Asylum Alliance, our North American Champion: Bohemoth!!!
{{The ThatGuy chant of "You're Not Safe" ensues as the present Asylum Alliance members step up into the ring. Wrestler Smurf and Mira Maniac have a brief staredown, before the referee demands that all non-participating athletes leave the ring.}}
Can you feel the electricity in the air, Jamal?
I'm feelin' sumpthin, but it sure ain't 'lectricity. That's the last time I eat a chili dawg that fast.
Ummm... sure. Fans, it doesn't get much better than this. Wrestler Smurf has a score to settle with Bohemoth. Mira Maniac has a score to settle with Wrestler Smurf. Tiger has a score to settle with Bohemoth, AND Mira Maniac, if he chooses... So much at stake... so many things that could happen. The referee signals the time keeper, and it is on!
::burp:: Thank you Gary Gourmando. Take it easy on the onions, next time. Immediately, Tiger and Bohemoth double-team the Wrestler Smurf. That IS surprising! Maybe Smurf is the man to beat! Wait, no! Bohemoth just turned on Tiger, and leveled him with a lariat.
It ain't gonna be wise to trust anyone is this match, I guarantee it, V...
Oh, no doubt. Bohemoth, now... blatantly choking Tiger. The referee is warning him, nut it doesn't matter. Disqualifications and count-outs do not count in this contest. The first man to execute a fall wins. This is not like a regular championship match. Wrestler Smurf kicks Bohemoth in the head, and throws Tiger from the ring. Maybe he wants Bohemoth to himself. Tiger falls to the outside, and lands... uh-oh... lands right at the feet of the Mira Maniac.
Here comes Tyrone from the otha side of the ringside.
Interesting enough, the Maniac isn't doing anything. Maybe he was serious about the so-called truce with Tiger. Mayhem comes over, and stares down the Maniac. Tiger rolls out of the way, and pulls himself back up to his feet. Meanwhile, Bohemoth and Wrestler Smurf going at it... trading hits, blow for blow. The referee is protesting the closed fists, but overall is being very relaxed with the rules. The fans want to see this all come apart. Tiger back in the ring, now. Wrestler Smurf with a big uppercut, and Bohemoth goes done. Smurf now stops to... taunt the Asylum Alliance?
Why is he doing that? He got Tiger in the ring... Bohemoth down... he could be making a cover. Instead, he tauntin' the Maniac and ThatGuy.
The Maniac on the ring apron... Smurf going after him... OH MY GOD!! The Maniac just threw a fireball in the Wrestler Smurf's face!
It ain't do much more than make 'im mad!
You're right! The Wrestler Smurf is enraged! He's chasing the Maniac and ThatGuy to the back! Vito Sorvino just nailed him with a chair, and the Asylum Alliance pounces! They are beating Wrestler Smurf down in the aisle!
Not that easy, though... Smurf still getting back up!! He's fighting back against Vito, Maniac, and ThatGuy!
They're brawling back to the dressing area. Meanwhile, Tiger has just executed a hiptoss on the gigantic Bohemoth. Bohemoth on the mat... Tiger goes for an armbar submission... trying to hyper-extend that elbow. Bohemoth is screaming in pain! The referee is checking him, but he does not submit. Jamal, what do you think of this action?
Man, V, don't talk to me... I'm tryin' to watch.
Bohemoth, one way or another, makes his way over to the ropes, and the hold is broken. Bohemoth makes his way back up to his feet, but the Tiger is right there. Tiger with the Irish whip to the ropes... Tiger lowers his head... Bohemoth with the DDT!
Some guys use that as a finisher.
That move was well scouted. Bohemoth covers... first of the evening... 1... 2... No! Tiger up on two! Bohemoth pulls Tiger up... he may be going for the Smasher! NO! Tiger with the small package! 1... 2... Bohemoth breaks it! The action is fast and furious. Tiger with two well placed fists to the side of Bohemoth's head... the big man is rocked... Tiger takes him down with a big clothesline. Another cover... 1... 2... Thr... NO!! Bohemoth up! Tiger sets him up... tries for the vertical suplex, but can't get him up! Bohemoth reverses the lock... nails Tiger with the front-face suplex! Picks him up... signalling for the Smasher, again!! He's determined to finish the Tiger off!
Man, V... this is too much! I cain't stand it!!
Tiger pushes Bohemoth away... the two men, exhausted, are simply staring at each other... Tiger makes the first move... lock-up... pushes Bohemoth into the ropes... catches him on the rebound... HE'S GOT IT!! HE'S GOT BOHEMOTH IN THE TIGER RACK!
Man, we don't need Tiger as da champ! The Inner Circle's got too much power as it is... C'mon Bohemoth!
Bohemoth has no choice! Right there in the middle of the ring... HE SUBMITS!! We have a new North American champion! Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and NEW STWF North American Champion: The Tiger!!
{{The crowd goes wild, as B.F. Sack, and the remaining members of the Inner Circle come down to celebrate with Tiger, and Tyrone Mayhem, who is already in the ring, dancing.}}
There you have it, fans... Tiger finally gets a clean win over the Bohemoth, and becomes the new North American champion.
He ain't even earn it! Wrestler Smurf wasn't even out here! The big blue guy will have something to say about this!
I'm quite sure Wrestler Smurf will be in line for a shot soon... Of course, he obviously as issues with the Mira Maniac right now. It's been an eventful night, here. We've seen two up-and-comers go at it, the debut of the fabled Oni-san, and a new North American champion. If we were one of the OTHER promotions, that might be it... but NO! We have one more match of epic proportions! That's what puts the STWF over all other federations... we bring you pay-per-view quality matches every card. The ring has finally cleared, and the crowd has quieted down a little...
But, V... you's gotsta believe that they still on fire, 'cuz they know what's coming up next!
That's right... a REALLY big one coming up... B.F. Sack, and members of the Inner Circle, taking on members of the Entertainment Industry. Four on four, elimination tag team match! We're quickly running out of time, so let's get right down to ringside for the introductions.
{{The yet-to-be-determined Inner Circle theme plays as the team of Milwaukee's Best, Not Prisoner X, and B.F. Sack comes down the aisle. THe crowd is on its feet, and going wild!}} There is lots of speculation about the World Champion, B.F. Sack, and his involvement with the Inner Circle... some say he may actually be a member.
Introducing first, representing the Inner Circle, the tag team chapions of the world, Beast and Beast Light, Milwaukee's Best! Their tag team partner, also representing the Inner Circle, Not Prisoner X! And finally, team captain, the STWF Heavyweight Champion of the World, B.F. SACK!!
{{The crowd begins to boo an hiss loudly as the rap remix of "You're Gonna Make It Afterall" plays over the loud speaker. They begin to litter the aisle with even more trash.}}
And now, their opponents, representing the Entertainment Industry, and led to the ring by Rimshot, Billy the Giant Goat, and Mr. Fred, Darren #3 and Rodney Ricardo, Nik At Nyte! Their fellow Industry partners: "Black" Jack Dealer, and Gruff!
Maybe this will put an end to the feud between Sack and the Entertainment Industry.
We can only hope.
Well, all combatants are in the ring. It looks like Gruff and Not Prisoner X, originally scheduled for singles action here tonight, will start things off. Gruff taking a moment to taunt Not-X... Not-X with a kick to Gruff's midsection. Gruff hits the canvas like a rock!
You ain't need to go tauntin' someone who's been in prison...
Prison? What are you talking about?
Not-X is kicking Gruff now. Well, no one ever accused him of being a technical genius. Picks Gruff up... BIG scoop-slam. Goes for the cover... 1... 2... Dealer makes the save! Sack and Milwaukee's Best enter the ring to protest, but the referee orders them out... the ref with his back turned, giving the Entertainment Industry the perfect opportunity to quadruple-team Not Prisoner X!! Oh, come on! Haven't these guys ever heard of fair play?
No... all these guys know is fair pay...
You may very well be right. Finally, the referee turns his attention back to the match... Gruff and Not-X alone in the ring. It should just about be over for Not-X who has just sustained an awful beating. Gruff is pulling Not-X over to the corner... we could see the Billy Goat Moonsault... climbs the turnbuckles... YES! That should be it... 1... 2... 3! Not Prisoner X is the first man eliminated! As the referee rolls Not-X out of the ring, Beast charges Gruff not giving him the chance to tag... Irish whip to the ropes... Gruff ducks under a clothesline and gives the blind tag to Darren #3... Beast turns around, and locks up with Gruff, who is not the legal man... He's going for the press slam... but here comes Darren #3 off of the top rope, with a perfectly executed missile drop kick!!
Seems like Rimshot been teachin' da boyz some rasslin' moves...
Certainly does, doesn't it? Darren #3 picks Beast up, and delivers an atomic drop, with authority. I'm impressed with the Nik At Nyte members... they certainly seem more confident in the ring...
Don't get me wrong, V... I love them Armani suits... they phat, and all dat, but do they really have to rassle in them?
I wouldn't know. That's the Entertainment Industry for you... Beast leaps to the corner, and tags in Beast Light. Beast Light charges Darren #3 and takes him down with a beautiful hurricanrana! Straight into a pinning maneuver... 1... 2... the kick out on two. Darren #3 makes the quick tag to Rodney Ricardo. Ricardo and Beat Light lock up... Beast Light twirls around into the rear waist-lock.... German suplex! The pin... 1... 2... Ricardo kicks out! Wow... the action is fast and furious, and Beast Light actually has the Industry on the run... the tag is made now to "Black" Jack Dealer... let's hope the referee thought to take his razor cards away before the match... Nope, no such luck! He just whipped one out and flipped it straight at Beast Light!! What is this guys problem?!? He just got himself disqualified... the referee is ordering him out of this match. Meanwhile, Rodney Ricardo comes into the ring, and covers the lacerated Beast Light... 1... 2... 3! Beast Light is out of this thing as well! For those of you keeping score, it's now 3 on 2... Beast and Sack, who we have yet to see in this match, against Nik At Nyte, and Gruff. In the ring now is Ricardo and Beast...
Why ain't Sack been in this thing?
This could be a smart game plan on Sack's part... he saves himself, so he's fresh when he needs to get in the ring... Okay, back to the action. Gruff and Beast are really going at it... as with any match-up of big men, there's nothing pretty or technical about this... just fists and feet flying. The larger Gruff is actually overwhelming Beast... Beast down in a neutral corner, now... Gruff kicking away. Gruff grabs Beast's head now... turns him around... what's he doing? Oh! He's going for the front-face suplex... can he get it? Yes! Makes the cover... 1... 2... Not quite! Beast still has some fight left in him! Goes for it again... Front-face suplex... YES! That's two... makes the cover... 1... 2... 3! NO!! Up on two! But just barely! Gruff looks very frustrated now... pulls Beast over to the corner... perhaps for the Billy Goat Moonsault, the same move that finished off Not Prisoner X at the opening of this bout. Beast in position... Gruff climbing the turnbuckles... goes for it... NO!! Beast slides out of the way... Gruff looks like he just had all of he wind knocked out of him! Beast makes the cover... 1... 2... 3! We are back down to a level playing field, now... Nik At Nyte against B.F. Sack and Beast... Darren #3 in now... I jus noticed... there's a lot of animals at ringside...
Very astute of you to notice... D3 and Beast staring each other down... there's a lot of history between Nik At Nyte and the Milwaukee's Best. The Best are the only team thus far to defeat Nik At Nyte. Let's see what happens here... Wait! What's this? Down the ramp, here comes the Vegas Connection! What are these guys doing here?
They up to no good, I jus knows it!
They're taunting Beast! They're... ... talking about his mother?! Oh, this is uncalled for! Beast leaps out of the ring, and charges them... however, the two-on-one situation is not being kind... the Connection quickly beat Beast down... the referee is making the count... 2... 3... 4... the Connection turns around and... ... gives an obscene gesture to Nik At Nyte?! What is going on around here? Is the Connection still with the Industry?
I think they is, but the gots itin fo' the new kids on the block, Nik At Nyte. The Connection been around... fo'mer tag champs... they ain't like D3 and Double R comin' in and stealin' their spotlight...
There's an old saying: A rising tide lifts ALL ships. Before Nik At Nyte came in, the Industry was prett stagnant... 9... 10... Beast has been counted out! The Connection are leaving, and this leave B.F. Sack alone to do battle with Nik At Nyte, the two men who started this feud to begin with... Sack enters the ring, and the crowd is going absolutely nuts!! D3 tags in Ricardo, and it looks like we're about to see some double-teaming here... ... the both charge, but Sack escapes... BIG scissor-kick sends D3 to the outside... grabs Ricardo... belly-to-belly suplex!! Wait!! He's going for it! Ricardo on the mat, Sack with the... YES!! Domino Effect! D3 is down, and Ricardo has no place to go!!
He's beating that mat like a congo drum! BABALU!! BAAAAAAABALU!
We can really do without the singing. Ricardo is out of this thing! Quick tap-out submission! The referee is rolling him out of the ring... meanwhile, D3 is crawling back in on the opposite side... Sack spots him... picks him up!! He's got more of the same for Darren #3!!! Belly-to-belly suplex, and... YES!! The Domino Effect! What's this? Darren #3 refuses to give up!
He's in da middle of da ring! He ain't got no place to go!
He's still hanging on! The referee right on top of things... Domino Effect sinched in... D3 still in there... ... it's only a matter of time... What's this? Slowly but surely... D3's looking dazed... his eyes are glazed over... he's going out! Going... going... ... ... the referee checks him... he's talking to him... D3's looking around, but gives no response... ... what's going to happen? Wait... I think... ... YES!! The referee stops the match!! B.F. Sack has single handedly defeated Nik At Nyte!
Man, V... that ain't right... the other three, da Inner Circle guys, helped soften them up...
Sack has won this thing!! Wow! What a match... one for the history books!! This was, perhaps, the biggest match in the history of Friday Friday Friday!! Sack's coming over here.. the fans are going nuts... I can't hear a word I'm even saying... ... Yo, Sack... Man, you jus defeated Nik At Nyte and put da smack-down on the Entertainment Industry... whatchoo gonna do now?
Sack: I'm going to PorkLand!!
The champion and victor tonight, B.F. Sack, taking a moment to plug one of our new sponsors... PorkLand, the themepark where the piggies walk upright... Take a left at Ma's Deli, and go down the street about five miles, and you're there... look for the giant haystack. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a tremendous night... two weeks in the making. Join us here for next week for another Friday Friday Friday, because one Friday is never enough. For Jamal Tupac Mustafa, I'm Angus "Vince" McMadden saying "Keep Your Pants On." Wait, that's my Monday sign-off...
©1998 Stereo Type Wrestling Federation/Consejo Stereotypicos de Lucha Libre