FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY - Lucky #13

((A short intro about the history of the new locale, the Meiger County Fairground Exhibition Hall, plays. The show then opens to shots of the crowd as the pyro guys leap around, waving their sparklers in the air vigourously.))
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you've probably figured out, we are no longer broadcasting from our beloved Cowpie Palace... for undisclosed reasons, mind you. Out with the old, in with the new, here we are, in the beEEEEEEEEa-UUUUUUtiful Meiger County Fairground Exhibition Hall. I'm Angus "Vince" McMadden... my former Friday Friday Friday colleague, Gary Gourmando, is not allowed on the premises... due to an incident in 1987 with a young boy and a bag of cotton candy.
When da Glutton tell you he's hungry, you'd betta listen!
And with that, let me introduce you to my new Triple F partner: Jamal Tupac Mustafa.
Yo.
And, according to the plans I have here, we're supposed to be joined by a guest announcer, but I don't see an--
Oh no... here it go...
((The Mira Maniac comes down the ramp, carrying his "manager" Mira2. He sits Mira2 down beside Jamal, and puts a headset on it."))
Listen, here... I've gotta go back and prepare for my match tonight against Tiger... If I hear word of you mistreating the lady here, there's going to be Hell to pay... Hear me? HELL TO PAAAAAAAAAY!!
((Angus and Jamal trade confused looks as the Maniac storms back to the backstage area.))
Ummm... okay. We've been joined at this time by, umm... Mira2. Now that we have that out of the way, let me run down tonight's card. As you just heard, the Mira Maniac will face off against the Tiger, the Circus Freaks will take on the Milwaukee's Best for the tag team titles... and in non-Inner Circle versus Asylum Alliance matches, we have B.F. Sack battling Gruff in a non-title match, Nik at Nyte speaking about the Entertainment Industry, and finally, Death taking on Distruct. Enough with the talk, let's take you down to the ring for our opening feature.
((The remixed theme to the Mary Tyler Moore Show, "We're Gonna Make It Afterall," thumps out over the PA system as Darren #3, Rodney Ricardo, and Mr. Fred make their way down to the ring. Darren #3 grabs the microphone on his way up the steps.))
D3: Okay, okay... for a little while now, Rimshot and the Entertainment Industry has been scouting Nik At Nyte. I can't say that I blame them. We came into the STWF and immediately disposed of the once fabled Warrior Gods. After that, we had a series of unsuccessful matches against Milkwaukee's Best. People were saying that Nik At Nyte were finished before we ever got started. We weren't has-beens, we were never-was's.
RR: Das right!
Mr Fred: ... ... ...
D3: However, I'm here to tell everyone that Nik At Nyte, after a short vacation, is back and ready to climb those ranks. I think we showed that at Supercard. So, all of that aside, we only have one question for you, Entertainment Industry...
RR: Do you pay cash?
D3: NO! That's not it!! Our question is...
RR: Can you get us women?
D3: Dammit, Rodney! Shut up! Our question is... ::looks at Rodney:: Our question is are the Entertainment Industry good enough for us?
((The Entertainment Industry come out from the back and half-way down the ramp. "Black" Jack Dealer hands Rimshot a microphone.))
Are WE good enough for YOU? What kind of question is that? Of course we are!! Hey, you want money? We have plenty. You want the women? We have plenty. You need help against the Ratings Flock? You want retribution against Milwaukee's Best, and the Inner Circle? You want the tag team titles? You want it, you got it. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line.
D3: We're not convinced you guys would be what's best for our career.
Well, then... how can we CONVINCE you?
D3: You send two of your best guys down here to fight us right now. If we beat them, you're not what we're looking for. If they beat us, we'll admit that we need your help and join your group. Fair?
Well, here we go, ladies and gentlemen... an impromptu match between Nik At Nyte and two members of the Entertainment Industry. Presto Cadabra and "Black" Jack Dealer are hitting the ring. The ref signals the time keeper, and the match is on.
I... I don't understand. If da Entertainment Industry beat Nik at Nyte, why would dey want 'em?
Maybe they see un-tapped potential. D3 and Dealer lock up. D3 pushes him to the mat.
Wait-a-minute... Dealer's just layin' there!
D3 drops an elbow. The tag is made to Ricardo.
He ain't even tryin' to get up, and Presto ain't doin' nuthin' to help! Dis ain't right!
Ricardo to the top turnbuckle, and WOW! Shooting-star press! The cover is made. 1... 2... NO! Ricardo pulls him up! Why?!
Man, sumpthin' ain't on da up-n-up.
Ricardo picks him up, and sets him up... there it is!! The Babalu Bounce!
::shakes his head:: Ain't nobody ever listen to me.
Ricardo drops him and makes the cover. 1... 2... 3! Let's go down to Announcer Lad for the official word.
Here are your winners: Nik At Nyte!
This is strange. Nik At Nyte are celebrating their way back to the locker rooms, and Rimshot is... smiling?
Man, if you cain't figure out what's about to happen, I ain't even gonna tell you.
Let's go down for our first official bout of the evening.
Our next match is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first... from Death Valley, weighing in at 310 lbs., DEATH!!
((The Chorus Of Death plays as Death staggers his way to the ring, spilling beer and dropping ashes all over himself.))
And his opponent, hailing from Woodstock, Ontario, Canada, and weighing in at 304 lbs., Distruct! ((Distruct charges the ring.))
Distruct is someone we haven't seen around in a while. Let's see how this veteran handles the rookie Death.
Not real good... he already down.
Death is all over Distruct, with a flurry of punches and kicks. Death pulls Distruct up and Irish Whips him into the ropes. BIG clothesline! Distruct is down again. Death signals for the Death Penalty... takes Distruct, straddles him over the top turnbuckle, climbs up, and THERE IT IS! Death Penalty... makes the cover, 1... 2... 3. It's over with.
Dis one was over wit befo' it even started.
Hold on, what's going on here? Death has pulled an "Inner Circle" T-shirt out of his pocket.
WHOA!! Lookit dat!
Oh, come on!! Death is setting the T-shirt on fire with his cigar.
If that ain't a message to the Tiger, I don't know what is.
Get this guy out of here! We have more action to get to.
Our next match has no time limit, and is for the STWF World Tag Team Titles! ((The crowd cheers.))
First up, the challengers!
((Calliope Big-top Music plays as the Circus Freaks make their way down to the ring, with the entire Asylum Alliance in tow.))
This is going to be a very dangerous situation. The Asylum Alliance, complete with new members the Mira Maniac and Vito Sorvino, are here. There's no doubt that the Inner Circle will be here in support of Milwaukee's Best. Tiger is set to fight the Mira Maniac later tonight... something tells me this thing is about to explode.
Hell, yeah... ::getting excited:: V, it 'bout to be on... I just knows it.
From Parts Unknown, weighing at a combined weight of 561 lbs., representing the Asylum Alliance, THE CIRCUS FREAKS! Now, currently coming down the aisle, from the wonderful city of Milwaukee, weighing in at a combined weight of 550 lbs., representing the Inner Circle, your champions, MILWAUKEE'S BEST!!
((The crowd offers its massive applause as the Inner Circle comes out from the back.))
What's this?? Oh, look out! Mira Maniac and Bohemoth have tackled and are beating the Tiger! "Not Prisoner X" is grappling with Vito Sorvino... The Circus Freaks have blind-sided the Milwaukee's Best... Zebulon and Tyrone Mayhem... It's an ALL OUT BRAWL AT RINGSIDE!!
Boo-yeah!! Dis is it!! It's on!! Dis is what da STWF is all 'bout!
The ref is desperately trying to get some order. He's ordering everone not involved in the match to the back. Milwaukee's Best is in the ring, and now so are the Circus Freaks. The Inner Circle and Asylum Alliance are brawling their way back up the ramp, but this match is now officially on. The titles are on the line, and this should be a good one.
Man, da best part is over wit.
Beast Light with a headlock on Dizzy Desi. Desi slips out, and nails him with a European Uppercut. Beast Light falls back into the corner... quick tag to Beast. Beast with a BIG lariat on Desi. The cover is made. 1... no. Sasquatch makes the save. Beast Light runs in to protest, but as the ref's back is turned, the Freaks give Beast a good double-team beating in the corner.
You'd figure dat after decades upon decades of wrestlin', dat people would've learned 'bout dat by now. If sumpthin' like dat happens, jus' keep yo butt out da ring! The ref'll handle it!
Beast Light finally goes back to his corner, but the damage is done. The tag is made to Sasquatch. Scoop slam on Beast. Drops the elbow... the cover... 1... 2... no. Beast Light makes the save this time. Again, the ref pleads with Beast Light to leave the ring, but as his back is turned, the Freaks double-team Beast.
Here we go ag'in.
Desi with a Boston Crab, Sasquatch climbs to the top turnbuckle. OH MY GOD!! Canadian Omelet!
Ain't seen one of dem in a while.
Desi back in the corner, Sasquatch makes the cover. Ref turns and counts. 1... 2... Th... NO! Beast kicks out. If the ref had been in position, we would've had new champions.
If da ref had been where he was s'posed to, the Freaks wouldn't of had Beast down like dat.
You may very well be right. The Freaks doing an excellent job of isolating Beast. Sasquatch signals for his Saskatchewan Stomp... and WAIT! Roll up out of nowhere! 1... 2... 3! The Freaks are outraged! All it took was a split-second for Beast to capitalize!
Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, and STILL STWF Tag Team Champions, MILWAUKEE'S BEST!
Dat was s'prisin'.
It certainly was. I thought for sure that we would have new champions. It just goes to show that ANYTHING can happen in the... ... oh, nevermind. Our next bout will be another chapter in the unfolding feud between the Asylum Alliance and Inner Circle.
::turns to Mira2:: I jus' gotta axe. Mira2, what do you think are yo guy's, da Maniac's, chances are against the Tiger?
Jamal?
Huh?
Don't talk to the poster. Folks, I just recieved word that members of neither the Inner Circle nor the Asylum Alliance will be allowed to leave their dressing room areas. Here we go with the introductions, Announcer Lad, take it away.
((The Maniac's new theme music, Alice Cooper's "This Maniac's In Love With You," blasts through the Hall as Mira Maniac makes his way to the ring, alone.))
Even Vito Sorvino was asked to stay backstage. Perhaps we'll see a fair one-on-one encounter tonight.
Nope. Ain't gonna happen.
From Hollywood, California, weighing in at 170 lbs., representing the Asylum Alliance, here is: the Mira Maniac!!
((The crowd begins to boo and shower the Maniac with paper cups and other assorted trash. The Maniac hops over to the announcer's booth, for a quick kiss on Mira2, before dashing back up into the ring.))
And his opponent...
((Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" begins to play.))
Hailing from Richmond, Virginia, weighing in at 253 lbs., representing the Inner Circle, the TIGER!
((The crowd goes wild as the Tiger steps through the curtain. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Death attacks, knocking Tiger out-cold with a beer keg, and then choking him with the Inner Circle T-Shirt. STWF officials come out to separate the two, but the damage is done.))
Oh, this is horrible! They're finally getting Death out of here... Tiger tries to stand, but can't. Looks like this one is a no-contest.
Lookit da Maniac in the ring, all laughin' and leapin' around and stuff. Dude's messed up.
He's in the right stable, then. Maniac is coming over here... wait a minute, we don't want any trouble.
It cool. He jus' gettin' da poster.
Now, the Maniac has left. I guess this one will have to wait until another day.
But does dis mean dat Death is in the Asylum Alliance?
Doubtful. I think Death was just trying to get the upperhand on Tiger for their match at Unscented. I've just recieved ANOTHER notice. It seems that during this next match, the Entertainment Industry will be handcuffed to the guardrail. Apparently Big Daddy Panama didn't want to take any chances considering what all has happened tonight. Non-title or not, Sack can't afford a loss.
Ain't go'n do no good. I'm telling ya, V... sumpthin' is up! Sumpthin' ain't right!
Yeah, well...
Looks like Gruff get's the jobber entrance. He's already in da ring, and I ain't even hear no announcement.
The ref is handcuffing each member of the Entertainment Industry to the guardrail, making sure everything is secure.
Handcuffin' a goat to the railin'. Man, das cold!
((The theme from "Sanford and Son" begins to play as B.F Sack and Big Daddy Panama come down the aisle.))
Tremendous ovation for the new champion. Sack's in the ring, holds up the belt... the bell rings and this thing has started.
Where are the announcements?
I think Announcer Lad's microphone has malfunctioned. It doesn't matter... everyone knows who these guys are. Back to the action... Sack with an armdrag take-down on Gruff. Gruff on the mat... Sack with a kick to the head. Gruff on his feet, Sack into the ropes... goes for the clothesline, but misses.
C'mon, Gruff... man, you got nuffin' to lose! Go for it!
Lock-up... Sack kicks Gruff in the mid-section, and gets him with the DDT! He signals for the Domino Effect! He's going for it, and... ... and... what is that? It's... ... Mr. Fred?
Nik At Nyte's horse?
Apparently. He's sitting right there in the middle of the aisle. The ref has gone over to try and... umm.. plead with the horse, for lack of a better word. In the ring, Sack has the Domino Effect locked on Gruff... Gruff has nowhere to go!!
Who dat?
Out of the crowd... it's Nik At Nyte!! Darren #3 has a chair!! Oh, no!!! Chairshot on B.F Sack... Big Daddy Panama's in the ring, but Rodney Ricardo hits him with the thrust kick. What a working over Sack is getting from Darren #3!!
I told ya. On Monday Nae Trous, I told ya. Earlier in da broadcast I told ya... but does anyone ever listen to Jamal? Hell, naw... I smelt a setup.
Mr. Fred is leaving... Nik At Nyte are hiding at ringside... Gruff makes the cover... 1... 2... 3... Gruff has defeated the World Heavyweight Champion!! What a travesty!!
They ain't finished!!
Darren #3 is back in the ring, and he and Gruff are taking turns beating on Sack... Rodney Ricardo has got the keys!! He's unlocking the Entertainment Industry!!
Oh, man... it's on now...
Fans, we're out of time... join us next week for another Friday Friday Friday... because one Friday is never enough!
Look at DAT!!!
©1998 Stereo Type Wrestling Federation/Consejo Stereotypicos de Lucha Libre