FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY - Lucky #13
((A short intro about the history of the new locale, the Meiger
County Fairground Exhibition Hall, plays. The show then opens to
shots of the crowd as the pyro guys leap around, waving their
sparklers in the air vigourously.))
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you've probably figured out,
we are no longer broadcasting from our beloved Cowpie Palace... for
undisclosed reasons, mind you. Out with the old, in with the new,
here we are, in the beEEEEEEEEa-UUUUUUtiful Meiger County Fairground
Exhibition Hall. I'm Angus "Vince" McMadden... my former Friday
Friday Friday colleague, Gary Gourmando, is not allowed on the
premises... due to an incident in 1987 with a young boy and a bag of
When da Glutton tell you he's hungry, you'd
And with that, let me introduce you to my new Triple F partner: Jamal
And, according to the plans I have here, we're supposed to be joined
by a guest announcer, but I don't see an--
Oh no... here it go...
((The Mira Maniac comes down the ramp, carrying his "manager"
Mira2. He sits Mira2 down beside Jamal, and puts a headset on
Listen, here... I've gotta go back and prepare
for my match tonight against Tiger... If I hear word of you
mistreating the lady here, there's going to be Hell to pay... Hear
me? HELL TO PAAAAAAAAAY!!
((Angus and Jamal trade confused looks as the Maniac storms back to
the backstage area.))
Ummm... okay. We've been joined at this time by, umm... Mira2. Now
that we have that out of the way, let me run down tonight's card. As
you just heard, the Mira Maniac will face off against the Tiger, the
Circus Freaks will take on the Milwaukee's Best for the tag team
titles... and in non-Inner Circle versus Asylum Alliance matches, we
have B.F. Sack battling Gruff in a non-title match, Nik at Nyte
speaking about the Entertainment Industry, and finally, Death taking
on Distruct. Enough with the talk, let's take you down to the ring
for our opening feature.
((The remixed theme to the Mary Tyler Moore Show, "We're Gonna Make
It Afterall," thumps out over the PA system as Darren #3, Rodney
Ricardo, and Mr. Fred make their way down to the ring. Darren #3
grabs the microphone on his way up the steps.))
D3: Okay, okay... for a little while
now, Rimshot and the Entertainment Industry has been scouting Nik At
Nyte. I can't say that I blame them. We came into the STWF and
immediately disposed of the once fabled Warrior Gods. After that, we
had a series of unsuccessful matches against Milkwaukee's Best.
People were saying that Nik At Nyte were finished before we ever got
started. We weren't has-beens, we were never-was's.
RR: Das right!
Mr Fred: ... ... ...
D3: However, I'm here to tell everyone that Nik At Nyte,
after a short vacation, is back and ready to climb those ranks. I
think we showed that at Supercard. So, all of that aside, we only
have one question for you, Entertainment Industry...
RR: Do you pay cash?
D3: NO! That's not it!! Our question is...
RR: Can you get us women?
D3: Dammit, Rodney! Shut up! Our question is... ::looks
at Rodney:: Our question is are the Entertainment Industry good
enough for us?
((The Entertainment Industry come out from the back and half-way
down the ramp. "Black" Jack Dealer hands Rimshot a microphone.))
Are WE good enough for YOU? What kind of
question is that? Of course we are!! Hey, you want money? We have
plenty. You want the women? We have plenty. You need help against
the Ratings Flock? You want retribution against Milwaukee's Best, and
the Inner Circle? You want the tag team titles? You want it, you
got it. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line.
D3: We're not convinced you guys would be
what's best for our career.
Well, then... how can we CONVINCE you?
D3: You send two of your best guys down
here to fight us right now. If we beat them, you're not what we're
looking for. If they beat us, we'll admit that we need your help and
join your group. Fair?
Well, here we go, ladies and gentlemen... an impromptu match between
Nik At Nyte and two members of the Entertainment Industry. Presto
Cadabra and "Black" Jack Dealer are hitting the ring. The ref signals
the time keeper, and the match is on.
I... I don't understand. If da Entertainment
Industry beat Nik at Nyte, why would dey want 'em?
Maybe they see un-tapped potential. D3 and Dealer lock up. D3 pushes
him to the mat.
Wait-a-minute... Dealer's just layin' there!
D3 drops an elbow. The tag is made to Ricardo.
He ain't even tryin' to get up, and Presto ain't
doin' nuthin' to help! Dis ain't right!
Ricardo to the top turnbuckle, and WOW! Shooting-star press! The
cover is made. 1... 2... NO! Ricardo pulls him up! Why?!
Man, sumpthin' ain't on da up-n-up.
Ricardo picks him up, and sets him up... there it is!! The Babalu
::shakes his head:: Ain't nobody ever
listen to me.
Ricardo drops him and makes the cover. 1... 2... 3! Let's go down to
Announcer Lad for the official word.
Here are your winners: Nik At Nyte!
This is strange. Nik At Nyte are celebrating their way back to the
locker rooms, and Rimshot is... smiling?
Man, if you cain't figure out what's about to
happen, I ain't even gonna tell you.
Let's go down for our first official bout of the evening.
Our next match is scheduled for one fall with a
twenty minute time limit. Introducing first... from Death Valley,
weighing in at 310 lbs., DEATH!!
((The Chorus Of Death plays as Death staggers his way to the ring,
spilling beer and dropping ashes all over himself.))
And his opponent, hailing from Woodstock,
Ontario, Canada, and weighing in at 304 lbs., Distruct!
((Distruct charges the ring.))
Distruct is someone we haven't seen around in a while. Let's see how
this veteran handles the rookie Death.
Not real good... he already down.
Death is all over Distruct, with a flurry of punches and kicks.
Death pulls Distruct up and Irish Whips him into the ropes. BIG
clothesline! Distruct is down again. Death signals for the Death
Penalty... takes Distruct, straddles him over the top turnbuckle,
climbs up, and THERE IT IS! Death Penalty... makes the cover, 1...
2... 3. It's over with.
Dis one was over wit befo' it even started.
Hold on, what's going on here? Death has pulled an "Inner Circle"
T-shirt out of his pocket.
WHOA!! Lookit dat!
Oh, come on!! Death is setting the T-shirt on fire with his cigar.
If that ain't a message to the Tiger, I don't
know what is.
Get this guy out of here! We have more action to get to.
Our next match has no time limit, and is for the
STWF World Tag Team Titles!
((The crowd cheers.))
First up, the challengers!
((Calliope Big-top Music plays as the Circus Freaks make their way
down to the ring, with the entire Asylum Alliance in tow.))
This is going to be a very dangerous situation. The Asylum Alliance,
complete with new members the Mira Maniac and Vito Sorvino, are here.
There's no doubt that the Inner Circle will be here in support of
Milwaukee's Best. Tiger is set to fight the Mira Maniac later
tonight... something tells me this thing is about to explode.
Hell, yeah... ::getting excited:: V, it
'bout to be on... I just knows it.
From Parts Unknown, weighing at a combined weight
of 561 lbs., representing the Asylum Alliance, THE CIRCUS FREAKS!
Now, currently coming down the aisle, from the wonderful city of
Milwaukee, weighing in at a combined weight of 550 lbs.,
representing the Inner Circle, your champions, MILWAUKEE'S
((The crowd offers its massive applause as the Inner Circle comes
out from the back.))
What's this?? Oh, look out! Mira Maniac and Bohemoth have tackled
and are beating the Tiger! "Not Prisoner X" is grappling with Vito
Sorvino... The Circus Freaks have blind-sided the Milwaukee's Best...
Zebulon and Tyrone Mayhem... It's an ALL OUT BRAWL AT RINGSIDE!!
Boo-yeah!! Dis is it!! It's on!! Dis is what
da STWF is all 'bout!
The ref is desperately trying to get some order. He's ordering
everone not involved in the match to the back. Milwaukee's Best is in
the ring, and now so are the Circus Freaks. The Inner Circle and
Asylum Alliance are brawling their way back up the ramp, but this
match is now officially on. The titles are on the line, and this
should be a good one.
Man, da best part is over wit.
Beast Light with a headlock on Dizzy Desi. Desi slips out, and nails
him with a European Uppercut. Beast Light falls back into the
corner... quick tag to Beast. Beast with a BIG lariat on Desi. The
cover is made. 1... no. Sasquatch makes the save. Beast Light runs
in to protest, but as the ref's back is turned, the Freaks give
Beast a good double-team beating in the corner.
You'd figure dat after decades upon decades of
wrestlin', dat people would've learned 'bout dat by now. If sumpthin'
like dat happens, jus' keep yo butt out da ring! The ref'll handle
Beast Light finally goes back to his corner, but the damage is done.
The tag is made to Sasquatch. Scoop slam on Beast. Drops the
elbow... the cover... 1... 2... no. Beast Light makes the save this
time. Again, the ref pleads with Beast Light to leave the ring, but
as his back is turned, the Freaks double-team Beast.
Here we go ag'in.
Desi with a Boston Crab, Sasquatch climbs to the top turnbuckle. OH
MY GOD!! Canadian Omelet!
Ain't seen one of dem in a while.
Desi back in the corner, Sasquatch makes the cover. Ref turns and
counts. 1... 2... Th... NO! Beast kicks out. If the ref had been in
position, we would've had new champions.
If da ref had been where he was s'posed to, the
Freaks wouldn't of had Beast down like dat.
You may very well be right. The Freaks doing an excellent job of
isolating Beast. Sasquatch signals for his Saskatchewan Stomp... and
WAIT! Roll up out of nowhere! 1... 2... 3! The Freaks are outraged!
All it took was a split-second for Beast to capitalize!
Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners,
and STILL STWF Tag Team Champions, MILWAUKEE'S BEST!
Dat was s'prisin'.
It certainly was. I thought for sure that we would have new
champions. It just goes to show that ANYTHING can happen in the...
... oh, nevermind. Our next bout will be another chapter in the
unfolding feud between the Asylum Alliance and Inner Circle.
::turns to Mira2:: I jus' gotta axe.
Mira2, what do you think are yo guy's, da Maniac's, chances are
against the Tiger?
Don't talk to the poster. Folks, I just recieved word that members
of neither the Inner Circle nor the Asylum Alliance will be allowed to
leave their dressing room areas. Here we go with the introductions,
Announcer Lad, take it away.
((The Maniac's new theme music, Alice Cooper's "This Maniac's In
Love With You," blasts through the Hall as Mira Maniac makes his way
to the ring, alone.))
Even Vito Sorvino was asked to stay backstage. Perhaps we'll see a
fair one-on-one encounter tonight.
Nope. Ain't gonna happen.
From Hollywood, California, weighing in at 170
lbs., representing the Asylum Alliance, here is: the Mira
((The crowd begins to boo and shower the Maniac with paper cups and
other assorted trash. The Maniac hops over to the announcer's booth,
for a quick kiss on Mira2, before dashing back up into the ring.))
And his opponent...
((Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" begins to play.))
Hailing from Richmond, Virginia, weighing in at
253 lbs., representing the Inner Circle, the TIGER!
((The crowd goes wild as the Tiger steps through the curtain.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Death attacks, knocking Tiger out-cold
with a beer keg, and then choking him with the Inner Circle T-Shirt.
STWF officials come out to separate the two, but the damage is
Oh, this is horrible! They're finally getting Death out of here...
Tiger tries to stand, but can't. Looks like this one is a no-contest.
Lookit da Maniac in the ring, all laughin' and
leapin' around and stuff. Dude's messed up.
He's in the right stable, then. Maniac is coming over here... wait a
minute, we don't want any trouble.
It cool. He jus' gettin' da poster.
Now, the Maniac has left. I guess this one will have to wait until
But does dis mean dat Death is in the Asylum
Doubtful. I think Death was just trying to get the upperhand on Tiger
for their match at Unscented. I've just recieved ANOTHER notice. It
seems that during this next match, the Entertainment Industry will be
handcuffed to the guardrail. Apparently Big Daddy Panama didn't want
to take any chances considering what all has happened tonight.
Non-title or not, Sack can't afford a loss.
Ain't go'n do no good. I'm telling ya, V...
sumpthin' is up! Sumpthin' ain't right!
Looks like Gruff get's the jobber entrance. He's
already in da ring, and I ain't even hear no announcement.
The ref is handcuffing each member of the Entertainment Industry to
the guardrail, making sure everything is secure.
Handcuffin' a goat to the railin'. Man, das
((The theme from "Sanford and Son" begins to play as B.F Sack and
Big Daddy Panama come down the aisle.))
Tremendous ovation for the new champion. Sack's in the ring, holds
up the belt... the bell rings and this thing has started.
Where are the announcements?
I think Announcer Lad's microphone has malfunctioned. It doesn't
matter... everyone knows who these guys are. Back to the action...
Sack with an armdrag take-down on Gruff. Gruff on the mat... Sack
with a kick to the head. Gruff on his feet, Sack into the ropes...
goes for the clothesline, but misses.
C'mon, Gruff... man, you got nuffin' to lose! Go
Lock-up... Sack kicks Gruff in the mid-section, and gets him with the
DDT! He signals for the Domino Effect! He's going for it, and... ...
and... what is that? It's... ... Mr. Fred?
Nik At Nyte's horse?
Apparently. He's sitting right there in the middle of the aisle. The
ref has gone over to try and... umm.. plead with the horse, for lack
of a better word. In the ring, Sack has the Domino Effect locked on
Gruff... Gruff has nowhere to go!!
Out of the crowd... it's Nik At Nyte!! Darren #3 has a chair!! Oh,
no!!! Chairshot on B.F Sack... Big Daddy Panama's in the ring, but
Rodney Ricardo hits him with the thrust kick. What a working over
Sack is getting from Darren #3!!
I told ya. On Monday Nae Trous, I told ya.
Earlier in da broadcast I told ya... but does anyone ever listen to
Jamal? Hell, naw... I smelt a setup.
Mr. Fred is leaving... Nik At Nyte are hiding at ringside... Gruff
makes the cover... 1... 2... 3... Gruff has defeated the World
Heavyweight Champion!! What a travesty!!
They ain't finished!!
Darren #3 is back in the ring, and he and Gruff are taking turns
beating on Sack... Rodney Ricardo has got the keys!! He's unlocking
the Entertainment Industry!!
Oh, man... it's on now...
Fans, we're out of time... join us next week for another Friday
Friday Friday... because one Friday is never enough!
Look at DAT!!!
©1998 Stereo Type Wrestling Federation/Consejo Stereotypicos de Lucha Libre